Advice on the Tricky Business of Going From a Patient to a Date

Geplaatst op 24-06-2025

First of all – never ask a man out! Never call him first. Don’t propose marriage to him, and DON’T make the first move on a date. I’m sorry to say that the femininst movement gave women like you some bad advice when they preached equality between the sexes. The bottom line is that men and women are different, and to treat them equally is to doom your love life! So after you finish reading this column, start reading your way to a successful love life. You’ll benefit from my man-think quiz, in which I teach readers how men think. This will begin your education as to why you need to know how men think, what they like, and who they want to be with. Then you can summon up your own unknown powers as a woman, and become the woman who gets the man she wants. Trust me. It works.

Power Is An Aphrodisiac

Now, for the thornier part: He’s your doctor. You have an intimate professional relationship. Many women fall in love with men who can take care of them in some way. They mistake the professional intimacy in the professional relationships that they have with these men as more. And face it: the power that these men hold over these women is an aphrodisiac. Power is sexy. So it’s no surprise that these men are often teachers, doctors, bosses, or other father figures. It’s normal.

However, acting on these feelings often means crossing lines that create complications. Dating your boss can be tricky business. Dating a teacher can be just as tricky. As you already know, a doctor who makes a pass at a patient can be held legally liable for harassment and other criminal acts. So even if he’s madly in love with you – which I don’t think he is at this point – if he’s a law-abiding citizen, he’s not going to ask you out on a date. He could be disbarred if he did.

Dating Is A Numbers Game

I wonder if you’re just lazy in love, and not doing your own love work – making yourself as attractive as possible, and packaging yourself like a product – because dating is a numbers game, and unless you accept that and put yourself in the game, you’re going to find yourself doing a lot of “settling-dating.” And settling-dating means loving the one you’re with – rather than the one you want – because he happens to be in your pathway. Knowing what you want in a man and a relationship is the first step to a successful relationship. If you don’t know that, you’ll get lazy, and find yourself developing crushes on men who happen to be in your path – like your doctor. And then putting yourself out there, so that you’re actually playing the numbers game and getting up to bat, will assure you that at some point, you will be asked out by a few or by a lot of men. But if you don’t get up to bat, you won’t be rejected – but you also won’t be asked out. So get out there!

Can You Date Your Doctor?

Now, as for your doctor crush. The best thing for you to do, if you really are attracted to your doctor, is to find another practice and another doctor to treat you. When you leave the practice, you can drop him a thank you note for his care and practice, and mention that you felt that he was just too cute to be your doctor, and you didn’t want to have a doctor that you’d rather date than be his patient. At that point, you’re not asking him out. You’re not putting his job in jeopardy by suggesting he date a patient. And you’re un-complicating your relationship with him so that if he does like you and if he does want to ask you out, he can.

If you want to up the ante a little, make yourself a little available for him to run into. Don’t stalk him, but do frequent the restaurants and stores in the neighborhood of his office. If you do run into him, at that time, flirt away!